Mumbai Maya

The light music on the radio of the car in which I was returning from Mumbai after a client visit provided me the ideal environment for self introspection. It was partly because I had nothing else to do and partly to do with the disappointment and frustration associated with the failed bid at the client visit.

Disappointment and anger was writ large on my oval face considering the effort I had put into making demonstrations of IFRS compliance in SAP.I had literally burnt the midnight oil for the last week in a desperate bid to get some business in this new and niche area.

I felt like a struggling model invited in a page 3 party to just add to the glamour quotient and make up the numbers. But I also knew that in pursuit of excellence, particularly in a path breaking niche area, this is bound to be the risk of rejection

As I looked out the car window, a Bajaj Pulsar zoomed across me and that was enough to enlighten me. The motorcycle had a young couple, probably students; just have a fun time on a Friday evening, oblivious of the mad bad world. Its not that they were ignorant of these hard facts of life where joy and sorrow are more unpredictable than the toss of a coin. Its just that they had decided that the occasion was such that they had to enjoy and a conscious decision helps the psyche to a large extent.

It also threw a live saving vest to my fast sinking and frustrated body and mind. I was never a philosopher but the situation was such that my thoughts were no longer governed by my mind.

The traffic jam opened a plethora of such thoughts for sick frame of mind. I began to wonder what it is in Mumbai that people long for. They toil from morning to night and many times even don’t have the time to profess their love to the near and dear ones. All of a sudden I began feeling nice – comparing this to my comfortable way of life back in Pune.Automatically I didn’t want to answer the question – Is your “busy work schedule” anything like what you see in Mumbai?

As with all tense situations – the human mind refuses to answer any uncomfortable questions and I decided to change the subject of thought. I was also feeling hungry and always longed to eat some of the sandwiches that are sold on the streets in Mumbai. I lamented that such a “Sandwich” culture is not present in Pune.

However, I was not through the trauma of losing the bid. The only positive was that I could claim a per diem for the day.

However life had to move on – everyone struggles in life – some recognize it and some do not have the time to think about this. A taxi driver is so engrossed in meeting his ends meet that he does not care to let an ambulance carrying a patient to pass by. In this age of competition, we as human beings are putting enormous pressure on ourselves and on the natural resources around us. The concept of a recent film – 3 idiots seemed to be so true. This rat race will never get over and we always have to strive to move ahead. But isn’t that is our Karma – and our duty also? Then how do we do our Karma without getting frustrated when we loose out. And once I get frustrated how can I love the job I am doing and be a good human being?

The answer lies in the eternal truth that no color of life is permanent and change is the only constant. What we perceive as a failure is only our perception – it does not count when we do our karma – Does this mean we should do our activity without any conviction and without emotional attachment with it? If we do this then we are mere robots- isn’t it?

Well, if we see this from the view of the cosmos, then we are robots who are programmed to perform a certain role in this universe. Let us not get obsessed with ourselves and understand that success and failure applies to the role we are playing and not to ourself. – Paint on the face stops at the cheek, it does not stain the soul. So when performing our duties we must do it with the best of our ability since it is scripted for our role, and the outcome should also apply to the role and not to ME. The effort I put in making the demos were a part of my duty as I was employed by the company – It was an act that I did in a role of an employee, then how can the outcome of the act be applicable to me – it also applies to the role and to the Company which employs me.

I felt much better after all this analysis – It takes only some deep breaths to tide over our difficulties. The idea of putting this down on paper is that once we read this it will reside in our memory and the next time we are down in the dumps, this incidence will come to mind and we will feel much better.

As with all solutions, cures and rules, there comes a rider -

As rational human beings let us resort to this philosophy only to the extent it helps us tide over difficulties. Let us not take the cover to shirk our duties and become lazy. Let us not perform our karma without full effort and take cover under this philosophy – believe me it will not work since deep down we know that we have not performed our role to the best of our abilities and guilt will itself swallow you out –leave alone the outcome of the act.