Brittle resolve....haunting memories

Today, after a huge realm of time, amidst testing times and crushing work pressure,i got a relapse of the shadows of my past - one that had the most sweetest of moments - which ultimately remained a dream like a mirage in a desert.

Those 2007 moments are hard to forget - bitter to relive -yet the most cherished. They were as desperate as the hot sands of desert soaking in the the cool ocean waves,still pleasant as blooming daffodils swaying in the virgin European summer.

It was not my prerogative to experience this nor was it the mandate of fate - it was just an encounter that began with merging of ideas - albeit conservative.While i kept telling myself not be surprised by this and not to pay attention to this personality - deep down,i had already fallen for its aura, got enchanted by its captivating charisma and an innocent slave of its wishes.

Rationality suggested that it was not possible for this celestial feeling to culminate into any sort of socially acceptable institution,but no mortal is rational when in love.
Was it my weakness or her strength - it took me 9 weeks of  mirror practice and immense self belief to convey myself to her at a very unlikely venue - the railway platform.It was not the best of place but a very apt moment- lines of poetry flowed making an immediate mark.

Here was the cruel tryst with wicked destiny - it all ended almost when i said it. What followed were certain decisions taken by me by impersonated by my surroundings. In course of time,she drifted away to follow the mundane rules of life and it all never again seemed to come together.

So was it a wave of lost love or just a conscious decision by two individuals respecting each others constraints,we did not question the cosmic plan.

But even now, when i am stressed,i close my eyes, it all unfolds before me like yesterday - no metaphoric comparison can elaborate the rise in heartbeat on thinking about her.
It was the best thing to happen to me - it was also the best thing that i lost - but as i began writing, the memories come to haunt me every now and then.

My Friend / Co-Worker

During my times not so good,

With me, you fought hard as you could.

With joy at heart and work in mind,

Thanks a lot; you are so very kind,

Along with a new life inside you,

I had the strength of not one but two,

You burnt the midnight oil a lot,

Ever indebted to you for that.

As you move to a very special phase,

Do whatever your doctor says,

Pray to God, do your level best,

That is enough to pass this test.

Will keep my fingers crossed,

Let me know the time has passed,

Give me the news of the little one,

When your pleasant struggles are all done.

With ability to transform all around you,        

Friends like you are far and few,

Do not be modest for now,

Take the credit where it is due.

Chanel Farewell

@ the Chanel Farewell Lunch....


Chanel welcomed me with Survival as a goal
Foul memories attached to this FI role,
A brand image to protect, and pride,
Had to take it all in the stride.


Few dark apocalyptic days came,
But time never remains the same,
With the learning curve on the rise,
Daily experiences made me wise.


In a few days from there on,
Smile made way to the frown,
Joe called it remediation,
For me it was more redemption.


Having conquered the inside me,
Needed results for Mike to see,
The trust was back,so was the glee,
It then had to be what it had to be.


Papa John was my 'Go-To' man,
Mike Arnold-I am his biggest fan,
Melanie was kind,let me talk to her,
Enough for me to work further.


At the brink of passing it all to Jay,
Do your Best- is what i would say,
Risks and Rewards here are at par,
So just work, do not see too far.


Like all rolling stones,they say,
have to move on,keep the comfort at bay,
I too have to reach my next horizon,
Hope it will be as much fun

Just want to finish well next week,
After that ,I will be there if you shall seek.
Of course possibilities of that are very bleak,




Thank you all for the tolerance,
That is the real Chanel fragrance,
But,If i ever again cross this shore,
Surely will want to visit the Chanel store

US L1 Onsite

L1 Long Term Onsite,you bet,
is one experience to forget,
Moneywise in dear deep debt,
This decision,i totally regret.

Without support or help here,
Office or market,nowhere near,
How to survive is what i fear,
All i can do is shed a sad tear.

USA glittered from far away
Thought i am here to stay,
The reality dawned once i landed,
in middle of nowhwere i was stranded

Set me free from this bondage,
Let me move on to another page,
The more i run,further i go,
The world says,i told you so.

Then,i decided to fight it out,
step by step, bout by bout,
Hang on by the hour,by the day,
You will win, is what i can say

pleasing souls rather than people's ego.

I have a feeling about this  - what is God? i can safely conclude God is nothing but peace of mind.How can that be achieved? Well for once,peace of mind cannot be achieved when one is bound by desire for oneself.Bcoz with desire ,comes expectations and responsibility..
Then, What is the solution? Shouldnt a person have relationships,have children or get into a family mode?and if yes, aint i responsible for them, their future? and if yes,shouldnt i be thinking of achieving,accumalating wealth and save for the rainy day? all these actions are nothing but desire.
So what should i do?

First - Let your innerself dawn that people who are around you are independent souls.A person who says she is your wife - is also a being who is selfish - every being is selfish when he/she has expectations with the other.

Second - Seeing 'your people' happy gives u happiness,bcoz u think u have done ur responsibilities.It makes u happy as u have patted urself on ur back.It doesnt make u happy bcoz u have pleased a soul.So this is self gratificaton

Third - Lets renounce these souls as "ours"...they are not "my wife" ,"my daughter".They are souls around you.Continue to provide them with a decent way of life,but dont do it as they are "urs"

The test of this is

U shud get the same happiness when u feed an unknown child as u get when u feed "ur own"
When u feed a child from the orphanage it is called charity and when u feed ur own..it is called love....
how hypocritic? this happens bcoz u have the concept of "own" and "other"

To evolve further, try and make people around u smile,help the needy without the feel that "you" are helping them..in other words get selfless, train ur soul to do activitiy without self expectations...
Dont expect a person whom u helped to come and say thanks......if he says it ..its ok and doesnt concern you.....if he doesnt even acknowledge you ,it shudnt depress you as u didnt expect anything from him.

Lets see God in every human - lets strive to towards pleasing souls rather than people's ego.

My Abaper

Appreciate the value of an abaper,

He can make you rich or a pauper,

consider his common sense as gold,

When he does more than he is told

Is it you or him who is at fault,

No matter what.you are taken apart,

You cant depend on him and relax,

Its time,you learn to assemble syntax,

It takes some attitude to own it up,

To take all the blows and then get up,

Trust your senses and hang in there,

Be alert,next time around,take more care

He is one with you in the team,

Cover for him,like milk under cream

He is after all doing his best,

What will you achieve putting him to test

Mon Cher Ami - Bhartendu

With a blurred  vision, i came,
But you made me feel,it is the same,
Not sure of what to expect here,
But you made me feel home is near.

My heart melts,my eyes water,
Emotions run high for that matter,
Your caring embrace,that radiant smile,
gave me courage to go more than a mile.

When it came to hunger,you fed me,
Shared your bread for my sake,
Shelter was a problem as it was to be,
You solved it all,did it without a stake.

I cannot thank you enough still,
For comforting me like your very own,
That golden heart of yours will,
Give you more, than you have ever known,

Cannot redeem this,you noble souls,
May God fulfill all your true goals,
Thankful, to meet you and know you,
Bhartendu - Friends like you are far and few